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Hi Awkward Team!

I am a lady and I have a lady friend who is, to put it in a word, creepy. We’ve known each other for about two years and I was always under the impression that our relationship was strictly platonic (I have a live-in boyfriend) but for a while she’s been doing and saying things that make me really uncomfortable. Examples:

- We went to see a movie about a dysfunctional relationship and she said to me, “This is so Us.” After the movie was over, she said she thought we should maybe break up because of how many parallels our relationship had to the movie. I was completely unaware that she thought we were together.
- I don’t like to be touched, and am very clear on this with all of my friends, but she regularly strokes my face and rubs my back and (?!?!) unhooks my bra when we’re around each other. I have heard her telling people that she’s the only one who’s allowed to touch me, but I don’t remember making this arrangement with her.
- She came out for drinks with me and my boyfriend once and very pointedly ignored him the whole time, and then when she thought he couldn’t hear her she leaned over to me and whispered, “Would you be really upset if we got rid of [Boyfriend]?” and then proceeded to stroke my back.
- Whenever I’ve been at her house, she’s made overt sexual advances (changing into lingerie instead of pajamas, touching me inappropriately, having explicit conversations that wouldn’t make me uncomfortable with anyone else, but I feel like if I’m participating if I allow it to go on with her) even though I a) have a boyfriend and b) expressed my lack of romantic interest before said boyfriend was a thing.
- Despite me being very clear that I don’t have any romantic feelings for her, she seems to think that we are in some sort of trump-card relationship, like I’m Cathy and she’s Heathcliff and my boyfriend (and anyone else for that matter) is Linton – when I don’t even consider her one of my better friends.

I’d really like to be done now but I’m not sure what social niceties dictate in this case. I make sexual jokes and have very close relationships with a lot of my female friends, so I feel like in some way I must be leading her on. If I were in this situation with a man, it would be very clear to me that I shouldn’t be around him anymore, for both my safety and my peace of mind, but I’m worried that this physical affection and pseudo-romantic dynamic might be a part of girl culture for which I just didn’t get the memo.

Any insight, Awkwardeers?

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From organizer Michelle:

Hey Captain,

Just writing to say that after a several month hiatus, the Twin Cities meetup is coming back this weekend! This month’s meetup will be at Common Roots Cafe in Uptown Minneapolis, Saturday the 23rd from 1-4. I will be bringing my coloring books and crayons. Feel free to bring other activities as well. I will try and sit towards the front, but failing that I will be wearing a rainbow scarf.

The website is http://commonrootscafe.com/, and it is at Lyndale and 26th Ave.

Please email me at mmanson413 at gmail dot com if you have a question or want to RSVP. Hope to see you all there!

Have an enjoyable time!

I’m still writing fanfic masked as advice columns for Indiewire, so if you are interested, check out the recent columns for Orange Is The New Black (what do you do when your friend is telling an big & obvious lie but you don’t want to rock her fragile mental state) and today’s Halt & Catch Fire piece (what do you do when you’ve slept with the boss and your coworkers are making a fuss?). What (currently running) TV show should we tackle next?

Map of Buffalo NY

Image source: Town Map USA

I’m traveling without reliable internet access until Monday, which is a good thing for me, but a bad thing for cleaning out the spam filter or moderating comments. Thanks for your patience while I take a small break to see good friends.

I’m messing about with WordPress themes again for the next few days. The only way to see how they will really work is to “apply” them and try them out for a day or so. Please do not derail ongoing discussions to comment on graphics changes, thank you.

 

 

From reader DigitalTart:

Chicago Meetups are a Thing Again Sort Of!

Date: Saturday, 5/17/2014

Time: 3:00pm

Location: The Chicago Cultural Center Lobby (1st floor), 78 E Washington St, Chicago, IL 60602.

Transportation: By CTA, a whole slew of busses and trains. By Metra/Electric District/South Shore Line, Millenium Station. By car not recommended due to obscenely high cost of parking.

Activities: Let’s look at some art! The CCC has both rotating and permanent exhibitions. I’ll find a table in the lobby and stake out for a while, then when we’ve collected a few people we can head upstairs to the galleries if there’s enough interest. The cafe has permanently closed but I believe outside food and beverages are allowed in the mingling areas but not the galleries.

How to Find Me: I’ll be wearing a shiny purple dress and will have a big sign saying ‘The Awkward Table’.

SPECIAL BONUS ACTIVITY: The Windy City Rollers are having their championship that day as well, and I will be going to the game at 6pm to support my girlfriend on the Manic Attackers.

Nice! I’m so glad that local people are planning these.

 

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