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saying no

#560: It’s *your* party, so why would you invite people who put you on edge?

Dear Captain Awkward, I’m organising a house party for my 21st birthday, but I’ve run into a dilemma which I don’t know how to resolve. Backstory is, I was dating this woman, let’s call her X, for over half a year. We split up before January. It was my first real relationship and the breakup […]

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It Came From The Search Terms: SMARCH

The monthly(ish) roundup of the questions people type into search engines to find this blog. 1. “My partner thinks I have genital warts but I have herpes what do I do?” Both of you should get a full STI screen, if you haven’t already, and talk about whatever you find there. (‘Cause maybe it’s both). […]

#552: Crossing Paths with Darth-of-Old

Hello, nice people of the internet! I took your generous Pledge Drive donations and finally bought myself a reliable, working computer. I CAN WRITE AGAIN! February is over and my 2-week sinus-infection-shitbeast-respiratory-thing-from-hell seems to be lifting. I CAN WRITE AGAIN! HI IT IS NICE TO SEE YOU ALL I MISSED YOU AND HOPE YOU ARE […]

#547: “Is it my anxiety or is my relationship dodgy?” Spoiler: Holy fuckshit, IT’S THE DODGIEST

Comments are closed as of 2/9 Hi Captain, I need your help. I don’t know if I’m in a shitty relationship or if bad things just keep happening to us. I’ve been dating a guy for eight months. We fell in love very quickly and very intensely. The first period was very happy but I […]

#544 My extroverted roommates come and “kidnap” me when I want to be alone.

Good news, everyone! The first issue of Story Club Magazine is out. Go read my story and others from Chicago writers & performers! I especially love this piece, from J.H. Palmer, about the tiny kindnesses from strangers that knit us back together when we’re coming apart. And if you like stories and Live Lit readings and […]

#542: The Butt Dial of Jealousy and Specious Accusations

We haven’t had a gif party or a “Yo, maybe you are way cooler than that person you are dating” thread in a while, so, here you go. Dear Captain Awkward: My partner of 5 years moved 200 miles away last week for a job. I’m sad he’s gone and I’m missing him, but I […]

It Came from the Search Terms, 14 for 2014

These are edited slightly for punctuation, but otherwise unchanged. Find out how people find this blog! 1. “Do I tell my son’s teacher he has a crush on her?” No. What possible good could come of this? 2. “How to react when your cousin brother loses his mom.” Tell him you are very sorry for […]

#529: (un)Fun with tenses: You HAD an abuser. You HAVE a stalker.

This post is behind a cut due to intense discussion of sexual violence and stalking behavior.

It Came From the Search Terms

Now and then it’s interesting to see the search terms that bring people here, and, since they are in the form of a question, give some short answers. I’ve added punctuation but otherwise left the texts unaltered. “Pushing someone to accept something they aren’t ready to.” Is doomed. You can maybe get someone to say […]

#525: Discouraging The Too-Friendly Neighbor

Dear Captain, I recently moved to a new flat and am having trouble with my next-door neighbour. I’d like to be on casual friendly terms with my neighbours – smile and nod and maybe wave when we see one another outside – but nothing more. I have a social anxiety disorder & agoraphobia, and have […]

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