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Manners

#563: I have a hard enough time making friends for myself. How do I navigate the special hell that is arranging playdates for my children?

Hi there Captain! I’m a 36 year-old mom of two adorable boys (6 and 2). I also have no friends. I’m not entirely OK with not having friends, but I’ve gotten used to it over the past 30 years or so of not-having-friends-ness. What I’m less OK with is that my Big Guy seems to […]

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It Came From The Search Terms, April Showers Edition

Every month(ish) I answer the questions people typed into search engines to find this blog. Except for adding punctuation, I don’t change the wording. Enjoy! 1. “Mother-in-law hates me. How do I tell her I’m pregnant?” That sounds like a job for your spouse, her (presumably) son, who should be doing all or most of […]

#562: My friend and collaborator has gone AWOL on our project. How do I get them to focus again without ruining our relationship?

Dear Captain Awkward & Associated Awesome Awkwardeers, My longtime internet friend and I have a serial writing project that we publish casually online for free; we’ve been writing on it practically since we met. We have a very small fanbase, but they are extremely dedicated and patient as we work to get the writing up. […]

#561: “I had an affair with a married guy three years ago. His wife just found out and rang me up.”

Edited To Add: If you wrote one of the many (now deleted) treatises on The Darkest Evils of The Other Woman And How They Deserve Our Collective Scorn and Hatred, and how they must accept the possibility of violence at the hands of those they’ve wronged as the forseeable fruits of their sins, thanks for the […]

#560: It’s *your* party, so why would you invite people who put you on edge?

Dear Captain Awkward, I’m organising a house party for my 21st birthday, but I’ve run into a dilemma which I don’t know how to resolve. Backstory is, I was dating this woman, let’s call her X, for over half a year. We split up before January. It was my first real relationship and the breakup […]

It Came From The Search Terms: SMARCH

The monthly(ish) roundup of the questions people type into search engines to find this blog. 1. “My partner thinks I have genital warts but I have herpes what do I do?” Both of you should get a full STI screen, if you haven’t already, and talk about whatever you find there. (‘Cause maybe it’s both). […]

#553 I’m following my heart, so why won’t my friends root for me?

Dear Captain Awkward, I married my college boyfriend T three years ago, but our marriage became pretty awful. This past summer I went to a month-long program for my job and met M, who is honestly the most amazing person I’ve ever known. He gets me in a way no guy ever has. When we […]

#552: Crossing Paths with Darth-of-Old

Hello, nice people of the internet! I took your generous Pledge Drive donations and finally bought myself a reliable, working computer. I CAN WRITE AGAIN! February is over and my 2-week sinus-infection-shitbeast-respiratory-thing-from-hell seems to be lifting. I CAN WRITE AGAIN! HI IT IS NICE TO SEE YOU ALL I MISSED YOU AND HOPE YOU ARE […]

#545: My old friend was great when we lived close, but has gotten very mean from a distance.

Dear Captain Awkward, When I was in university, we had a tightly knit group of five friends, and I’m glad to say that group has stood time and is still together. Two years ago, I moved abroad to a different country and I only see the rest of the group occasionally, around three or four […]

#544 My extroverted roommates come and “kidnap” me when I want to be alone.

Good news, everyone! The first issue of Story Club Magazine is out. Go read my story and others from Chicago writers & performers! I especially love this piece, from J.H. Palmer, about the tiny kindnesses from strangers that knit us back together when we’re coming apart. And if you like stories and Live Lit readings and […]

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