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Darth Vader Boyfriend

It Came From The Search Terms, April Showers Edition

Every month(ish) I answer the questions people typed into search engines to find this blog. Except for adding punctuation, I don’t change the wording. Enjoy! 1. “Mother-in-law hates me. How do I tell her I’m pregnant?” That sounds like a job for your spouse, her (presumably) son, who should be doing all or most of […]

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#557: That’s just one dude’s opinion/Annual reminder that “why did you break up with me?” is not a question you actually want answered.

Dear Captain Awkward: About two weeks ago, I was broken up with by my then-boyfriend of nearly two years, P. I did not see it coming, at all. A week before, he had invited me to his family’s reunion in the summer, and he had spent the previous weekend with me. P and I met […]

#552: Crossing Paths with Darth-of-Old

Hello, nice people of the internet! I took your generous Pledge Drive donations and finally bought myself a reliable, working computer. I CAN WRITE AGAIN! February is over and my 2-week sinus-infection-shitbeast-respiratory-thing-from-hell seems to be lifting. I CAN WRITE AGAIN! HI IT IS NICE TO SEE YOU ALL I MISSED YOU AND HOPE YOU ARE […]

#547: “Is it my anxiety or is my relationship dodgy?” Spoiler: Holy fuckshit, IT’S THE DODGIEST

Comments are closed as of 2/9 Hi Captain, I need your help. I don’t know if I’m in a shitty relationship or if bad things just keep happening to us. I’ve been dating a guy for eight months. We fell in love very quickly and very intensely. The first period was very happy but I […]

#542: The Butt Dial of Jealousy and Specious Accusations

We haven’t had a gif party or a “Yo, maybe you are way cooler than that person you are dating” thread in a while, so, here you go. Dear Captain Awkward: My partner of 5 years moved 200 miles away last week for a job. I’m sad he’s gone and I’m missing him, but I […]

#538: Forgiving a Friend’s Darth Vader

Dear Captain, How obligated are we to try and forgive our friend’s significant others for the harm they have caused in the past? To make a long story short, my friend A started dating person B.  I wasn’t wild about B, but I wasn’t the one dating him, and our casual interactions initially seemed fine, […]

#533: Can I bar my son’s unlikeable girlfriend from family events?

Dear Captain Awkward: My 27 year old son has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for about 18 months. He was living with a friend until a couple months ago, when he and his girlfriend moved to an apartment. Before the move, his friend came to see my husband and I to talk about […]

#529: (un)Fun with tenses: You HAD an abuser. You HAVE a stalker.

This post is behind a cut due to intense discussion of sexual violence and stalking behavior.

#520: Getting your stuff back from a Darth Vader ex

Dear Captain & Co., I’m in a wonderful relationship, but we’ve got a Darth Vader ex-girlfriend lurking on the sidelines. When we first started dating she behaved horribly: showing up on his lawn screaming suicide threats when she found out I was over, harassing him for months, hacking his email to get my phone number […]

#490: Should I tell my friend her boyfriend is cheating on her? She has a history of shooting the messenger.

Hi Captain, I have a friend, we’ll call her Jane. Several years ago, when I caught her first boyfriend making out with another girl at a party, I told her about it (I figured if my house was on fire, I’d want to know, right?). She claimed I was just trying to break them up […]

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