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Captain Awkward’s Dating Guide for Geeks

It Came From The Search Terms, April Showers Edition

Every month(ish) I answer the questions people typed into search engines to find this blog. Except for adding punctuation, I don’t change the wording. Enjoy! 1. “Mother-in-law hates me. How do I tell her I’m pregnant?” That sounds like a job for your spouse, her (presumably) son, who should be doing all or most of […]

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#555: Carts, Horses, and the Order of Operations

Dear Captain Awkward: How bad is it to get involved with a new person when I am still very hung up on someone else? Someone not available to me, but still part of my friend group? Even though I am still in love with him, I no longer hold out hope that we can be […]

It Came From The Search Terms: SMARCH

The monthly(ish) roundup of the questions people type into search engines to find this blog. 1. “My partner thinks I have genital warts but I have herpes what do I do?” Both of you should get a full STI screen, if you haven’t already, and talk about whatever you find there. (‘Cause maybe it’s both). […]

#554: The Mirror of Confusion

Dear Captain Awkward, I happen to really like a guy who is the most confusing man I’ve ever met. I met Matt( fake name don’t worry) through my best friend. She is the type of person who finds loads of guys attractive and usually likes me to meet them so she can a) get my […]

#551: What does it mean when a dating partner is “worried that they might be using me?”

Dear Captain Awkward, I’m a white ciswoman in my late twenties living in the Midwestern US. I’ve had a free online dating account for a while, having marginal success with short term dating but nothing that’s really led anywhere. My only *serious* relationship ended five years ago, after less than two years. I’ve come to […]

#548: I met a cool person to flirt with and I’m scared of what to do next.

Dear Captain Awkward, So I met a girl last night, one I’ve run into occasionally when the orbits of our respective circles come into gravitational alignment. We spent the time chatting together and exchanged numbers afterwards. I have zero experience with romantic relationships, but what little knowledge I’ve accumulated from rom-coms and trashy novels leads […]

#543: I can’t sleep because my first prospect for a “real” relationship might secretly be a furry.

Hi Captain, I’m afraid I’ve ruined something. I don’t feel comfortable talking with my support team about this yet for reasons that will soon be apparent. Backstory: I am a woman in my later twenties whose longest relationship ever lasted 6 months (and honestly it’s stretching it to call it a relationship). This is not […]

Single, horny people looking to survive this freezing hellscape…

…I give you the greatest “Come over and let’s make out” personal ad of all time. I hope this guy got sublimely laid and still kind of can’t walk from how much laid he got.

#535: Forgiveness, patience, and other traps.

Hey there Captain Awkward, I don’t normally post these things, but I’m taking a big step and reaching out to you in the hopes that I can get some useful (if not probably obvious) advice from you.   I have been in a relationship with a man 8 years younger than me for the past […]

It Came from the Search Terms, 14 for 2014

These are edited slightly for punctuation, but otherwise unchanged. Find out how people find this blog! 1. “Do I tell my son’s teacher he has a crush on her?” No. What possible good could come of this? 2. “How to react when your cousin brother loses his mom.” Tell him you are very sorry for […]

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