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bad internet dating

It Came From The Search Terms, April Showers Edition

Every month(ish) I answer the questions people typed into search engines to find this blog. Except for adding punctuation, I don’t change the wording. Enjoy! 1. “Mother-in-law hates me. How do I tell her I’m pregnant?” That sounds like a job for your spouse, her (presumably) son, who should be doing all or most of […]

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It Came From The Search Terms: SMARCH

The monthly(ish) roundup of the questions people type into search engines to find this blog. 1. “My partner thinks I have genital warts but I have herpes what do I do?” Both of you should get a full STI screen, if you haven’t already, and talk about whatever you find there. (‘Cause maybe it’s both). […]

It Came From the Search Terms

Now and then it’s interesting to see the search terms that bring people here, and, since they are in the form of a question, give some short answers. I’ve added punctuation but otherwise left the texts unaltered. “Pushing someone to accept something they aren’t ready to.” Is doomed. You can maybe get someone to say […]

#371: “How do I end this misery?”

Dear Captain Awkward: About ten months ago, I started a relationship (a really-long-distance relationship with someone I met on a website). At first, and I have to be honest here, I was just fooling around, I couldn’t believe that you could actually fell in love with someone you don’t even know. He was a “good […]

Linky Links of Linkyness

Lindy West reacts to a new book by the authors of The Rules with the correct amount of “What the everloving fuck?” (h/t Bitches Gotta Eat) “So, essentially (according to these jokers), online dating is a forum where you put yourself up for auction and then passively watch while men compete for your silent company […]

#235: Variations on a Theme, or, A Gamer Girl Needs Help

Dear Captain Awkward, I am a gamer girl who is currently obsessed with the game, Gears of War 3. I am geeky but reasonably cute with an average body. I’ve also only dated one guy who turned out to be gay to hide his sexual orientation from his parents. That was years ago and I […]

#229: You must chill (online dating edition).

Dear Captain Awkward, I’m a serially-single female in my mid-20s who has only been in two relationships. The first was when I was 20 and lasted seven months and the other was a on-and-off disaster that ended a few months ago. At the encouragement of my friends. I entered the world of online dating. It […]

#203: Scripts for saying “It was nice to meet you! But not THAT nice.”

Dear Captain Awkward, I am making forays into online dating, and it is Awkward. Mostly it is Awkward because I am one of those people who can tell within the first few minutes whether or not someone does or could ever give me a ladyboner (The “NOOOOO NOT EVER RUN AWAY!” instinct has never been […]

Reader question #61: My long distance girlfriend avoids me whenever I make it to town for a visit. Should I take this personally?

Dear Captain Awkward, I started dating a woman late last year, but shortly afterward economic circumstances forced me to move to a town a couple hours away. We’ve been doing the long distance thing ever since, and it’s been going quite splendidly, actually. She tells me that she loves me and misses me and all […]

The art of “no,” continued: Saying no when you’ve already said yes.

A reader responded to yesterday’s post with this story: …I was sitting around at 3am reading blogs when some guy knocked on my window, since mine was the only light on in the street–he’d locked his keys in his car, and wanted to borrow my phone. Then when he couldn’t reach the person he called, […]


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