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Sweet Machine

#459: Do I have to destroy my health to be in grad school?

I’m in grad school for creative writing. It’s hard. Right now, I’m taking three classes, which means that I’m reading 500-plus pages a week, in addition to commenting on my classmates’ writing and producing a poem every week. Plus, I’m teaching a basic composition course for struggling writers, and a literature course (for the first […]

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#414: What are the green flags for a good therapist?

Hello Captain Awkward and Awkward Army, I have been in and out of therapy off and on for the last decade or so. I don’t want to give my entire life history, but I will summarize by saying that I have clinical depression, and have anxiety that hasn’t been formally diagnosed yet but which has […]

#345: My mom won’t shut up about my weight

Dear Captain Awkward,         Ever since I can remember my worth in my family has only gone up when my weight goes down. My mom was always telling me I was too fat and that I needed to pull my pants up over my stomach or that I needed to buy larger […]

#330: Life blows. How can I be nice to myself again?

Ahoy there, Captain, and fellow Awkward Army. As I am typing this, work has been massively stressful and busy for me–I work at the busiest gas station in my city and despite being part time, I consistently get 40-hour/at least 30-hour work weeks; the end of the summer semester is drawing very near, and next […]

#300: My relationship is awesome y/n

Hi Captain & Team Awkward, I’ve been enjoying the site for a while now and have been able to take quite a few pointers from y’all, so thanks!   I guess the shortest way to ask my question is this: What are the green flags in any (budding) relationship?    Best wishes – Looking Forward […]

#266: Oops, I might have come out by being wildly successful at college, PLUS bonus Blanket Statement

Dear Captain Awkward, I’m an undergrad English student who just got published for the first time (yay!) and I’ll be starting work on my capstone thesis next semester (although I’ve already started reading and outlining and stuff like that). My family is currently very supportive and thrilled for me- also yay! Problem is, I’m not sure if […]

#250: How do I tell people about my divorce?

Dear Captain Awkward,  Seven weeks ago my husband of six years told me he wants a divorce.  There is no room for negotiation on his side.  We’ve been to a marriage counselor a few times since he told me, and have spent most of the sessions talking about how we’ll divide the assets, deal with the house, […]

#239: How can I make my husband get his health on?

Dear Captain Awkward, My husband and I have been together for four years, married for two. We generally have an awesome relationship, but there’s this one thing that’s getting on my nerves. He doesn’t look after his health.

#213 : Am I weirding everyone out by not being gay?

I’m happy to say that this is my most pressing question about sex ‘n’ relationships ‘n’ stuff right now.  The short version is that a lot of people who don’t know me that well aren’t sure whether I’m lesbian, straight, or somewhere in between.  I’m sure where I am (straight) but I also like the […]

#207: Why did this fictional story make me cry? Could it have something to do with these awful hints about my mother?

Dear Captain Awkward, Okay.  I am worried at the lack of emotional intimacy in my life, I think? On Thursday, I ignored my flu, got gussied up, and attended a two-author required reading for my fiction class.  The first author read an entertaining chapter of his book on taxidermy (yes, it was really good!)  Then […]


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