I’m pregnant – yay! It’s still pretty early, but if things go well, I’m on my way to being a big gassy pregnant lady. (Right now I am a small gassy pregnant lady).
However, I’m already dreading handsy co-workers who I know will touch my stomach, comment on my weight gain, start referring to me soley as “mamma” and judge everything I do by how good it is for the “baby” (I recently saw one of them cover the ears of a pregnant woman – and not one with whom he was particularly close – when someone used profanity.)
These people are both very sweet and well-meaning, and entitled and infuriating. I’m trying to plan my responses well before I start showing without a planned response, I know I’ll come across as rude and cold, while they’ll look like super-awesome guys who are just trying to be so cool and friendly!
Can you help me come up with some scripts that a) help these well-intentioned bozos realise why their comments and contact aren’t welcome, or appropriate and b) don’t make me sound like the mean office grump who hates good tidings?
- Not “Mamma”
12 weeks – Told managers (per HR requirements), asked them to keep it under wraps until the 20wk ultrasound.
20 weeks – Mass email to office mates disclosing the news, including due date(ish), gender info, and current maternity leave plans and prep.Here’s what it said:
I just wanted to let you know that I’m expecting a baby in early March. The ultrasound wasn’t conclusive, but we’re about 80% sure it’s a girl, and my husband and I are very happy. I’m planning on being off from March to June, at which time I’ll be back full-time, but I’ll do my best to prepare my projects before my leave starts. Let me know if there’s anything in our mutual schedules coming up that we should plan for. Thanks, and talk to you soon!
Are you excited? – I’m a pedant about language, so if I’m comfortable with you, you’re going to get an earful about how actually I’m more apprehensive and curious than excited. But most of the time, I’m going to say “Sure” or “Of course” because that’s what people want to hear.
“Fine! And you?”
“A little tired, but haven’t had my coffee yet.”
“Ok, just a little harder to stand up.”That’s what I have for you! Assume goodwill, answer as honestly as you feel like in the moment, coast on well-wishes for pregnant people, and drink a LOT of water.Yours in waddling solidarity,