Dear Captain Awkward;
I have liked this girl for a while now, or at least we seem to have strong chemistry. Sometimes we hang out and there are these tense moments of “Are we gonna kiss?” that I think are on both sides. The caveat is that she is already dating someone (who sounds kind of sucky, at least in the dating capacity) and I don’t want to be romantic with her because of the aforementioned detail and also ’cause we’re functioning fine as friends.
So how can I reliably deal with attraction when I don’t want it? My current strategy is to think about how creepy it is if I think we have a spark and she doesn’t, but that doesn’t appease my annoyance with the situation for long. Also, I should probably never mention this whole thing to her, right?
Dear Some Dude:
Hang out with her less and explore other dating/romantic/crush opportunities for yourself and let the attraction subside naturally.
If she asks you why (and you do actually want to start something up with her), say “I’m pretty sure if we kept hanging out so much we were going to end up making out, and I don’t kiss girls who have boyfriends.“
If you don’t want to start anything up with her, having chemistry with someone doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Chill out and enjoy the friendship (in smaller doses). Find someone else who welcomes your attention.
Thanks for giving me the excuse to post this video: