I am in a weird situation. I heard through a mutual friend that a person I consider a friend thinks that I don’t like them. Now I can understand where she is coming from, as how I act toward her could be seen as being a little stand offish. But I swear my reason make sense in my head! See her and her boyfriend (my friend and roommate) are on the second go round of their relationship. When they were broken up, I was also between relationships and I developed a crush on her.
However I did not act on it because of the unspoken “Code” of not dating your friend’s ex. So she and he got back together, and I involved in a long distance relationship, but when we are together I get a weird vibe off her, that something might of/still be there. I think that vibe is in my head but it bugs me sometimes.
So really this is just a long way of ask how/should I explain this to her?
Not everyone likes you.
Not everyone will like you.
Not everyone has to like you.
It sounds like this lady picked up on your Firthing a while back and mistook it for dislike (which it closely mimics).
I don’t think you can fix this with a conversation. “Hey, I feel like you don’t like me or you don’t think I like you, but really it was just that boner I had a while back…but don’t have it any more, I swear! Hahahahahaha! Are we cool?” Also, while most people understand the whole “don’t ask out your friends’ exes, at least without having a conversation with your friend first” rule, nobody likes being told “I would have asked you out, but since you were some other dude’s property first I held back.” You missed your window. Since they are back together, you can feel pretty comfortable knowing it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. Be happy for your friend and let this whole subject die a quiet death.
Going forward, just be a basic level of pleasant and polite to her. Stop being so standoffish because you feel guilty about liking your best friend’s girl. Stop worrying about her opinion of you. Definitely stop listening to shit-stirring friends when they tell you how someone else feels. For the record, I HATE that, and the correct answer is usually “Why are you telling me this?” + “Well, until I hear it directly from x, I can’t really worry too much about it.”
If you really are friends everything will even out with time. Until it does, the less effort you make, the better. Nothing solidifies a vague dislike/discomfort like someone trying really really hard to make you like them.