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Marie Claire’s Rich tells you how to keep a guy’s attention.

Rich” is still offering his “insights” into dating and relationships, y’all.

Here’s how he thinks you can keep a guy’s attention. There’s a lot of the usual “thrill of the chase” stuff, like, men like feeling like they have to “gently compete” for your attention, and he also tells you about the power of the “sexy glare” and being a “classy dresser who exudes sexy undertones” (I’m sure Marie Claire has related content on that).  If you have sex too soon or “show too much leg” you’ll only attract the “wrong kind of guy.”

Here’s how I think you can keep a guy’s attention:

1. Keep living your life exactly the way you want to live it and do your awesome thing.

2.  Be kind and direct and sexy with your chosen partner and treat them the way you want to be treated and in a way that makes you comfortable and happy with the pace of things.

3. They’ll either pay attention or they won’t.

You can’t control this shit, ok?  Dress how you dress.  Act how you act.  Fuck when you fuck.  Wear what you wear. People will either be into it, or not.  There’s no subtle game of psychological warfare that you can use to trick someone into paying more attention to you than they want to.  I realize that all women’s magazines live or die on the fallacy that there IS a way to control this if you just (bought stuff)(became thinner than you are now, no matter what you weigh now, you must be THINNER)(bought more stuff), but there isn’t a guaranteed way to fascinate.

That doesn’t mean you can’t change your life for the better – I personally have been working on dressing better at work, rewriting my resume, and doing the dishes right after I use them – but if the change is authentic it becomes part of your personality and isn’t some temporary trick you put on to impress someone you’re dating.

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11 comments
  1. robiewankenobie said:

    AMEN.

  2. Blythe said:

    Yes!!! Now why has that approach been left out of women’s mags?! In the end, he’ll have to live with you, so be you.

  3. anon said:

    I don’t know, I’m still a proponent of more glaring.

  4. Jessica said:

    @Blythe – The reason why this has been left out of women’s magazines is the same reason why anything exists in our culture – money. It’s just as the Captain said, the fashion-beauty complex can only convince people to buy stuff if they promote the idea that buying more stuff will make others be more attracted to you.

    • Blythe said:

      I know you’re right! “Be at peace with yourself” does not sell lipstick. A decidedly non glossy message. We need to provide a counter example in our own actions and words. “You can’t control it” is such a good message.

  5. Dressing classy while exuding sexy undertones is overrated. I used to be able to do it; it basically just made people spontaneously say really awkward things at me, like “I think we have unresolved sexual tension!” (apparently I had unresolved sexual tension with *everybody*) until I concluded that I had unresolved sexual tension with the universe at large. Like being mostly-asexual for years after everyone else hit puberty; that was awkward. The universe and I have since resolved our UST, and I think this means the exuding thing has stopped. Also I stopped dressing up every goddamn day.

  6. “doing the dishes right after I use them” Does. Not. Compute.

    The article has some good messages. Don’t be all dependent. Be yourself. Speak your mind. It is incongruous (i.e. perfectly normal) for him to completely cover that apple pie with a thick layer of “be super sexy [buy our advertisers' products] but for god’s sake don’t be a slut” chocolate frosting.

  7. mustelid said:

    I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that someone actually dates Rich Santos.

  8. Xenu01 said:

    Hahah! “There [are a] few things you can do to appeal to a guy’s visual tastes, and it doesn’t mean you have to dress like you’re working a street corner. A classy dresser exuding sexy undertones drives a guy wild. Letting it all hang out will destroy the mystery, so just give him a taste.”

    Don’t let him buy a cow if…wait- how did that go again?

    • Mercutia said:

      Don’t buy a bull if you can get the bullshit for free.

      • JAT said:

        I’m pretty sure you can always get bullshit for free.

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